GOOD COVER/BAD COVER #7 - Twista vs Bruno Mars

GOOD COVER

Twista
Sunshine

pryed from the withering fingers of
Bill Withers
Lovely Day

You've all heard the joke.
How you transform a duck into a soul singer? Stick it in the microwave until it's bill withers.

For those of you who know your 90's hip-hop then you're probably aware of Twista's gibberish classic "Mr Tung Twista" in which he manages to cram a dumfounding 11.2 syllables per second according to the Guinness World Records (that's approx 3,147.2 syllables in one song!) in which he makes other 'jibber-rappers' such as Snow look like the nerdy white fraud that he is.

In the mid-00's Twista made a vague comeback into the foray of commercial success, guesting with Kanye West and the likes and releasing this epic summer jam. Yeah yeah, by now you know if it's old skool then I'm gonna drop my pants for it, so I won't go into too much detail.

Still staying true to the vibe of the original (musically, maybe not lyrically) Twista shoots his trademark licks much slower than usual to accomodate the infectious groove of 'Lovely Day' without sodomising what's great about the original, adding with good measure the husky pipes of nu-soul guru Anthony Hamilton, dressed as some redneck crackhead in the video for some reason.

Though obviously it doesn't even come close to the original, the sheer lung capacity of Bill Withers alone is enough to make any asthmatic feel victimised. "Breathtaking" would have been a much more appropriate adjective.

Here's "Mr Tung Twista" for any of you uneducated buffoons;

BAD COVER

Bruno Mars
Grenade

totally rips off
Pirates Of The Caribbean Theme

Prepare yourselves, for I'm about to geek out in the most nerdiest possible way.

So if you listen to POTC around the 0:58 second mark when the stabbing orchestral bits kick it, change the time signature from 3/4 to 4/4, replace the orchestra with "yeah, yeeeaaah..." you essentially have the backing harmony stolen by Bruno Mars for the chorus in "Grenade".

Yes. I know, I know. I'm being more anal than a colonoscopist on a second date. Deal with it.

GOOD COVER/BAD COVER #6 - LCD Soundsystem vs Samantha Mumba

GOOD COVER

LCD Soundsystem
Drunk Girls

is basically just
White Light/White Heat
David Bowie

Okay, first of all this is actually a second-hand cover as it's originally by The Velvet Underground, however the David Bowie version is vastly more upbeat, stabbier, and boasts more swag than Tyler The Creator slapping Cher Lloyd in the face with his genitalia. It's this version which has clearly been lifted and remangled into "Drunk Girls".

Perhaps Mr. Murphy wrote this as a homage to Bowie, or just a reference towards his influences. Perhaps it's just lazy songwriting, but you can't fault this track for it's sheer fun factor. Pop music as it should be. The trouble with a lot of modern pop music is that it lacks charisma and/or balls hence why it's refreshing to hear this track has more energy than an 8-year old on a Relentless binge.

It's snotty, it's rampant and that riff is shamelessly stolen, but who cares right? The video is kinda upsetting though...

Meanwhile; here's the original...

BAD COVER

Body II Body
Samantha Mumba

is a total farce of
Ashes II Ashes
David Bowie

Whilst we're onto Bowie, remember this gem? Hopefully you won't even remember Samantha Mumba, the British Rn'B hopeful with the face like a kicked rottweiler/Falcor from The Neverending Story? At what point did she come to terms in her mind that a nobody like her, inappropriately touching a Bowie song in this manner would go unnoticed and go without severe retaliation from not just the UK public, but the entire world?

Luckily, she soon realised that singing wasn't for her and decided to attempt a stint in the movies. Remember the modern day spin of H.G. Wells' "The Time Machine"? Genuinely suprised she didn't have a crack at "The Bible: The Movie" whilst she was at it. Where do these people get off?

Back to the song/abomination, you wouldn't take "Stairway To Heaven", change the lyrics and whack a garage beat behind it and call it "Airface II Seven" would you? 10 years on and I'm still outraged.

I will say however, no matter how awesome Bowie's quirk-funk space classic may be, the video for "Ashes II Ashes" is still possibly the shittest thing I've ever seen, even for 1980's standards.

GOOD COVER/BAD COVER #5 - Outlandish vs Michael Bolton

GOOD COVER

Outlandish
Aicha

originally by
Cheb Khaled
Aicha

I KNOW! I KNOW! I know exactly what you're thinking. You're thinking, "uum.... whaaaat? Why is this filed under Good Cover?" and you'd be right to think this.

For any of you who isn't familiar with the Danish-Muslim hip-hop group Outlandish, then I wouldn't really blame you as they've only conquered a select handful of European countries, however they've always been a guilty pleasure of mine ever since I heard Walou back in 2003. Don't ask me why, it was catchy and I enjoyed their unique blend of multilingual/multicultural influences.

Moving on to "Aicha", widely ignored here in the UK but caused a monumental storm over in the rest of the continent, is an English language tribute to Cheb Khalib's ("The King of Rai") song of the same name replacing the stereotypical 90's production with a more down-tempo hip-hop edge topped off with some gorgeously crisp guitar licking.

But "WHY" have I filed this under 'Good Cover'? Surely it's just yet another uninspired and lackluster cover version? Yeah, it kind of is, BUT it's not been bastardised to hell and by any means it's not 'bad', and it could be worse is the point I'm getting at. It could be a lot worse. Bottom line is, I kinda enjoy it.

BAD COVER

Michael Bolton
When A Man Loves A Woman

is a bastardisation of
Percy Sledge
When A Man Loves A Woman

I don't really need to go into too much detail with this one. Here we have the Percy Sledge version, a staggering behemoth of sheer vocal horsepower and then we have the soul-less, watery and white Michael Bolton version.

Get the hell outta here...